On the Daylight Robbery at Sofia Gardens
And now: ICC proudly presents this week's visit to
CLOWN COURT
Jimmy 'The Rabbit' Anderson.
Monty 'The Monster' Panesar.
Paul 'The Grafter' Collingwood.
You are charged that on the 13th of July 2009 between the hours of 11:00 and 18:40 you did rob a Mr Ponting of Tasmania, attacking him with 'runs' in order to take from him, without his consent, a bag in which was contained a 'victory'.
You are further charged that in conjunction with your accomplices known as 'The Swan', 'The Pretty Boy' and 'The Caveman', you unlawfully obstructed a group of ten men under the care of the aforementioned Mr Ponting for several hours, denying them their traditional 'large quantity of Fosters at the pub', whatsoever that may be and howsoever you may calculate it.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, the Prosecution will describe how the 'Swalec Three' took account of Mr Ponting's limited managerial skills; bamboozling him into abandoning his preferred weapon, a gold-plated Hilfenhaus & Siddle, forcing him to resort instead to the patented North & Co. 'Pie Chucker', a weapon known to be somewhat ineffective against long-eared mammals.
Not content with all of the above, this pair of 'bowlers' and their master proceeded to pour humiliation on an obscure English Gentlemen's Club known only as 'The Top Order', thereby exposing its members in public, as impostors who decieved their bretheren with a ridiculous fantasy of 'proficiency in their chosen profession'. Ladies and Gentlemen, the embarrasment caused to these harmless buffoons by this vile trio of rearguarders cannot be underestimated, let me tell you.
The Prosecution calls for a 'guilty' verdict and presses for the highest penalty of a period of not less than two day's public adulation. How's that for justice!
That concludes the case for the Prosecution. And unlike poor Mr Ponting, we shall not proceed to drop it.
Your Honour, the Prosecution offers no evidence at this stage against messrs Haddin and Prior on the charges of 'Keeping a Disorderly Wicket', but reserves the right to do so should they re-offend.
I am in contempt, yer honour!
The Judge got the Bailiff to eject me from the courthouse due to being guilty of contempt of court.
Apparantly he considered that my rolling about on the floor in fits of laughter was not acceptable behaviour in court! :laughing3:
