Rectal Exam

A proctologist claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing a rectal exam:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."

And the best one of all...

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there."

very good :lol: and while we're on the subject...

Q: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

A: The taste


A doctor walks out of an examination room and begins to write a prescription.
A nurse walks by and says, "Excuse me, Doctor, but you're trying to write with your thermometer."
The doctor looks at the thermometer and says, "Dammit! Some asshole has my pen."

Hahhhhhhh! :lol: Both of the above posts are some funny business. :P