The Old Folks ...

[Turtle]

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks.
"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
"Sure."
"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.
"No, I can remember it."
"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?"
He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?" she asks.
Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!"
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
"Where's my toast ?"

[Turtle]

And again:

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man.
He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

[Gardwin]

An old man goes in to see his doctor and says "My wife and I aren't getting any pleasure out of sex anymore."
The doctor looks shocked and asks "How old are you?"
"81"
"And how old is your wife?"
"79"
"81 and 79 and you're not getting any pleasure out of sex?! When did you first notice this?"
"Twice last night and once again this morning..."

[butler bill]

Laugh now...but just wait...

[spike70]

Who's laughing ? Who am I, ah yes I'm Freddie Prinz.

[echoes]

ha, can all you old farts on the board relate to it? lol

[vdat100]

Laugh now...but just wait...

oh bill they will find out soon enough

[echoes]

just for the hell of it, why doesn't everyone that has posted in this thread tell what age they are?

i know how old gard & spike are, but how about the rest of you? i'm 23.

[who_am_i]

Look at the Old Folks joke on this page....imagine translating that into another language and culture. It probably would loose a lot of its flavor.

You're right.

disturbedite
I'm 26, married, and drive 350z. Satisfied? :P

[Turtle]

A New Use For Viagra
An elderly gentleman went to the local chemist and asked the pharmacist for Viagra
The pharmacist asked "How many?"
The man replied, "Just a few, maybe a half dozen. I cut each one into four pieces."
The pharmacist said, "That's too small a dose. That won't get you through sex."
The old fellow said, "Oh, I'm past eighty years old and I don't even think about sex anymore.
I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes...."

[Vaughn]

A 90-year-old man goes to the doctor for a his annual checkup.
"I'm going to need stool and urine samples," says the doctor.
The old man thinks it over a moment and then says, "How about I just give you my underwear?"

[spike70]

A 90-year-old man goes to the doctor for a his annual checkup.
"I'm going to need stool and urine samples," says the doctor.
The old man thinks it over a moment and then says, "How about I just give you my underwear?"

Ouch!

[Turtle]

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, "Why don't you eat the peanuts yourselves?".

"We can't chew them because we have no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."

It pays to be careful around old people.

[nevbrn]

good thread turtle and my age (for echoes to make him green) old enough to see every uk pink floyd tour since 1968

[spike70]

A group of Senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments:
"My arms are so weak, I can hardly hold this cup of coffee," said one.
"Ha! My cataracts are so bad, I can't even see my coffee," replied another.
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
"My blood pressure pills make me dizzy," another went on.
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he shook his head.
Then there was a short moment of silence...
"Well, it's not all bad," said one woman cheerfully. "Thank goodness we can still drive!"