Turtles are spoil-sports

[spike70]

GPS-equipped turtle foils amateur drug grower

By Gary Cutlack Tech Digest - 1 hour 40 minutes ago
A keen marijuana user hit upon the great idea of using some off-the-track American park land to grow himself a few special plants.
In these environmentally worrisome times, you'd think he'd be applauded - but no. When a box turtle equipped with a GPS tracking device stumbled into his little outdoor hydroponics lab, the park ranger followed, found his stash and grassed the amateur gardener up to The Law. The Law then staked out the exotic vegetable patch and arrested the guy, who would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for that meddling reptile.

The culprit is believed to be Isiah Johnson, who is fortunate enough to live in a place called Chevy Chase. Sergeant Robert Lachance of the U.S. Park Police said "He felt like he had a layer of security, but he probably never counted on a turtle with a tracking device leading us to that location and finding the field."

No. You'd never count on that. Even the most meticulously-planned crimes in history have not made allowances for what would happen if a GPS-enabled turtle stumbled into the crime scene. No one would ever commit any crimes if they had to go into that level of detail during the planning stages.

[Turtle]

Say NO to drugs, yes to TURTLES.

[Gazo]

No sympathy for the guy.......he must have see the turtle coming........he certainly had enough time what with the speed turtlers move.

[MARKK]

No sympathy for the guy.......he must have see the turtle coming........he certainly had enough time what with the speed turtlers move.

Not if it was like this one; You don't really know if the turtle is coming, or going!

[MARKK]

This is the last spy turtle model employed by the British intelligence services to quickly enter behind enemy lines and watch around

[spike70]

Three turtles, Troy, Andy and Wayne, decide to go on a picnic.

Troy packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is that the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.

When they get there, Troy unpacks the food and beer.

"Ok Wayne give me the bottle opener"

"I didn't bring it" says Wayne

"I thought you packed it"

Troy gets worried, He turns to Andy, "Did you bring the bottle opener?"

Naturally Andy didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener. Troy and Andy beg Wayne to go back for it. But he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches. After two hours, and after they have sworn on their turtle lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.

So Wayne sets off down the road at a steady pace.

20 days pass and he still isn't back and Troy and Andy are starving, but a promise is a promise.

Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise.

Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat them, Wayne pops up from behind a rock and shouts, "I knew it! ... I'm not f***ing going!"