Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A: A vocalist.
Q: How many vocalists does it take to screw in a bulb?
A: None. They hold the bulb over their head and the world revolves around them.
Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a bulb?
A: None, they have machines for that now.
Q: What's the last thing a drummer says before he gets kicked out of a band?
A: "When do we get to play MY songs?"
Q: What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?
A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.
Q: What's the difference between a folk guitar player and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.
Q: How many soundmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: “Hey man, I just do sound.”
Q: What do you call a drummer in a three-piece suit?
A: "The Defendant"
Q: What’s the difference between a puppy and a singer-songwriter?
A: Eventually the puppy stops whining.
Q: How many deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 12,001. 1 to change the lightbulb, 2,000 to record the event and take pictures of it, and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out.
Q: How many guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 12. One to change the lightbulb and eleven to say they could do it better.
Q: How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Don’t bother. Just leave it out…no one will notice.
Q: What do you do when a musician knocks on your door?
A: Give him the money and take the pizza.
Q: How many booking agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Listen, I’ll call you back in a week if I have an answer.
Q: Why are there four strings on a bass?
A: Three are spares.
Q: What do Ginger Baker and 7-11 coffee have in common?
A: They both suck without Cream.
Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 5.One to screw it in and 4 others to say how much better Neil Peart could have done it.
A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician."
She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."
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Originally Posted by djbalance
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