Last night, Britney performed at the O2 Arena in London. And by performed we mean shook her gut around like a belly dancer who had too much lentil soup for lunch, and spread her legs in that cage of hers wide enough for every Brit with myopia to get a clear view of her fish of the day caught in a net.

Here’s what British Tabloid The Sun had to say: “Take away the dry ice, amazing dancers, video screens and props from Britney Spears’ Circus Tour and what’s left? A girl walking around, flicking her hair and miming to some average pop songs.”

Ouch! That is trully gutting. But, don’t cry for Britney just yet! Apparently, she has high hopes that her after-show parties will seal the deal and give her the European approval she so desperately needs.

“It’s going to be crazy. Britney wanted to throw parties people will be talking about for years. I promise you, you’ve never seen anything so explicit in your life,” a source said of Britney’s after-show party plans.

Does that mean Britney will provide her own firework show by spreading her legs in the middle of a posh London nightclub and start spitting tampons out of her tubes like spark rockets? Wait, that’s not explicit enough??