First:

September 23, 2005 at 10:58AM filed under Jenny McCarthy | trackback link


Meet Jenny McCarthy's Best Friend, the Buzz-O-Matic 3000
We never thought we’d mention the name Jenny McCarthy on two consecutive days, but we’ve never been one to pass up a story about a lady talking about her vibrator.

The recently separated McCarthy ran off her filthy and sexy mouth to Lloyd Grove of The New York Daily News when asked about rumors that she’s dating Jim Carrey, which she denied. She said, “There's not going to be a rebound guy. All I know is, I've become best friends with my vibrator. And that's what I plan on getting sex from. Invest in Duracell! I go through a lot of batteries." That brings to mind lovely thoughts of the two best friends having sleepovers, braiding each other’s hair, eating Häagen-Dazs from the carton and spray cheese from the can while watching The Way We Were and crying all night long. Such a lovely picture. But of course these days when anyone talks about their vibrator there has to be a comparison to that dirty girl Eva Longoria, who just won’t shut up about the damn things. McCarthy said of Longoria, "Ah, she's getting [sex], who are we kidding?" And when Grove asked from whom, she said, "Everyone!" Longoria’s flack were not delighted with the implication that their reportedly engaged client was a big fat hobag and stressed that she’s in a long-term, monogamous relationship. We think the next step in this developing catfight should be a hair-pulling, bitch-slapping, anything-goes mud-wrestling cage match between McCarthy and Longoria. And sponsored and videotaped by Playboy, of course

Then:
August 15, 2005 at 10:49AM filed under Eva Longoria | trackback link


The Buzz on Eva Longoria
Eva Longoria was surprised when people started sending "truckloads" of vibrators to her after she admitted in an interview that she loved them. We're surprised too--people, Eva Longoria is rich. She doesn't need your erotic charity.

In an interview a while back, the Desperate Housewife claimed that she "relied on" her vibe and that "every woman should own one." Then, like Rosie O'Donnell plugging TastyKakes, the floodgates opened and Longoria found herself deluged by a sex-toy tsunami. "People sent them to me by the truckload. Boxes and boxes and boxes. I gave them to all my girlfriends," Eva said. But apparently the fatcats at her network were less than amused. "ABC said, 'Will you please stop saying vibrator?'" Seriously, Eva! They're called PERSONAL MASSAGERS. Gawd!